There’s no denying that the screaming, crying and kicking associated with your child’s temper tantrums are humiliating and makes you feel like an epic failure. Every parent will experience a public meltdown at least once in their life. The ear-piercing squeals and wild kicks coming from your child will not only make you feel helpless, but everyone around you will be judging. There is typically a reason associated with your child’s temper tantrum. The golden rule of calming a child is either feed them, get them to rest or give them an activity to engage in. While these three tactics work in most cases, there are times when a child will meltdown simply because they cannot control or regulate their emotions.
As a parent, it’s important to know what makes your child tick; what will help them overcome certain emotions the fastest. Studies show that the most common reasons for child temper tantrums are not getting their way, taking away favorite toys, trips to stores and switching activities. All children have difficulties adjusting to emotions. There are seven ways that can help calm your children down no matter where you are, plus these skills will also help them learn to cope on their own.
Take a Long, Deep and Calm Breaths
When a child is upset, their breathing will change into shallow, quick and short breaths. The first step to success is explaining to your child how to pause and take deep breaths. This is an exercise you can practice with them daily. Start by taking a four-second slow, deep breath in through your nose and holding it for two seconds. Over the course of four seconds, exhale slowly and evenly through your mouth and repeat the process for five to ten breaths.
A method often used to teach younger kids how to practice breathing exercises is through blowing bubbles. The breathing motions required to blow bubbles is the same technique used for taking long, deep, calming breaths. For older children, you can explain this method as blowing a balloon inside their belly. Ask them to pretend a balloon is in their belly and they need to fill it with air and then release. This may seem like a simple task, but it is very effective in calming children down.
1 ,2, 3, 4, 5
Have your child count to five, ten or even fifty to focus their mind on something besides their temper tantrum. Counting is also a fantastic way to help children learn how to pause and think before they behave badly. Impulse control is challenging for youngsters; counting ensures their mind is thinking before taking action. As a parent, you counting to them lets them know there are consequences to their behaviors. For example, you tell your child they have until the count of five to calm down or they lose a privilege. This tactic has to be handled carefully and you really have to know what the temper tantrum is over.
Tense and Relax or Other Physical Activities
Have your child squeeze their hands into fits and release them to help remove tension they have built-up in their body. When kids have temper tantrums, they build more stress than they realize, and they need a way to release it that is not harmful to them or others around them. You can also have them press their hands together firmly for 20 seconds, count those 20 seconds out loud, and then have them slowly “un-stick” their hands and ask if they feel any stickiness. This act gives them a physical activity to focus on and help relax all other muscles.
Blow Into Hands or Birthday Candles
Similar to taking calm breathing, blowing into hands allows children to take deep breaths and feel the physical strength of their breath. Have your child cup their hands together in front of their mouth and take a deep, deep breath and exhale gently to have their hands swell-up as if a balloon were trapped in there. Once they have finished, have them deflate the balloon and repeat the process. Another exercise to try is having your kid hold up their hand, or you hold up yours to them and blow out five candles. Count the candles and curl fingers down as they are blown out!
Change Positions
If your child’s tantrum started because of anger, try having them place their hands in their pockets or under their bottom. This technique gives your child a physical restraint and allows them to release aggression through pressure. It also allows them to change positions which makes the brain stimulate to another activity. On an alternative note, acupuncturist and reflexologists believe there are pressure points in your hands that will help with emotions and balancing your body. Points such as Wrist Point 1, which is below your pinky on your wrist, can be firmly pressed and promote happiness. If your child sits on their hands, there is a very good chance they will apply the pressure needed to this point to help balance their emotions.
Tune into The Body
It is never to early to tune into your body. Parents can easily teach their children to do this by showing them how to think about their body from head to toe. Have your child stand, start at their hand and notice the tense muscles then release those muscles. Once they conduct a body scan, ask them to adjust their posture and feel their face and the palms of their hands. This induces sensory play and lets them feel something different, such as warm palms. It also lets them recognize what happens to their bodies when they become frustrated or angry.
Give a Hug
Hugs are meant for all emotions, but did you know there is an actual science behind hugs? There is a debate on whether hugging your kid during a tantrum is giving into them, but it is far from that! A hug naturally calms a child, even if they pull away. It shows that you care and love your child no matter what emotional state they are in. It also allows them to recognize that you are calm and that this tantrum is not shaking you.
There are many tried-and-true methods that help calm children before, during and after temper tantrums. Most of the process is understanding your child and the situation of why the tantrum was started. Sometimes there are simply no answers. These seven methods needs to be practiced and explained to children so that the next tantrum can be easily avoided or calmed.
